It's been two years since I started this account, and for a lot of that time I've been unproductive. Not much art and even fewer journal entries. I drew, but usually with friends (Hence all the Iscribble stuff), and sometimes for my own enjoyment, but somewhere along the way I feel like I lost my drive. I went through a period where I was depressed a lot and hardly wanted to do anything. Part of it was an inferiority complex- I convinced myself I'd never be as skilled as some of my favorite artists, and I felt frustrated and embarrassed by what I thought of as a general lack of talent on my part. I wasn't good enough, not fast enough, nor dedicated enough to get better. I didn't expect it to happen overnight, but it felt like I was improving at a glacial pace, if at all. Hence it became a vicious cycle: Not being confident enough to do much, I didn't bother practicing. Discipline on my part has long been an issue as well (thank you, ADD)- I can come up with an idea for a character, a scene, a story, easily. It's sitting down and getting it done that's been nigh-impossible for me, especially when it comes to writing, which is why I've written no stories, even though I've wanted to. Heck, it's taking me forever just to write this journal.

When I had my first art class in well over a year last semester, she gave us some words of wisdom: "We're here to have fun". Simplistic? Obvious? Maybe, but to me it meant a lot. I have a million stories I'd like to tell, and a million things I'd like to draw. I want to be creative again, and share with those who are interested. I want to draw because its fun, not to try and prove anything. I know I owe art trades to some folks, and I'd like to thank you for being so incredibly patient. I've gotten some of my confidence back recently, but very often I'm still afraid to pick up that pencil (Not having a scanner doesn't help, of course).

So to all the artists and writers who might be reading this; How do you do it? How do you find the time, the energy, the confidence? That combination still seems to elude me. I guess it's an odd question, as everybody is different and there's no "secret" to this stuff other than practice. I guess I'd just like to hear the thoughts of some other people- what keeps you motivated? How do you deal with artistic anxiety, or do you? How do you stay focused? And probably most importantly, how do you handle your inner critic, the little voice that always says "I can't"?

I know that's a lot of questions, but if you're willing to share any thoughts I'd love to read them! I guess we ultimately have to decide what works for us as individuals, but we've all got to start somewhere. Thanks in advance, and I hope to get back into my groove soon.